Health Update

 

Damn ... broke my fav coffee cup.  Clear glass, insulated. Comforted by its warmth the morning my mother passed, held in my hand for every triumph and tragedy ... I have a thing about coffee cups.  Not just any random cup from the shelf.  Morning coffee must be from the same cup I keep separate from the household gear.  My cup next to my writing desk and yesterday I sat it too close to the edge of the counter when getting my early coffee and it hit the floor with a heart-sickening smash.  Me in sock feet and glass shards everywhere.  Three AM isn't the best time to deal with this kind of disaster.

Coffee cups and women, story of my life.  Broken mugs broken dreams.  Therapist always draws me back from the dreams, distractions from whatever it is we are trying to accomplish.  Mostly learn to appreciate, feel gratitude for everything MJ does for me.  I am grateful, more than just a simple thank you once in a while.  After a lifetime of dissatisfaction and disappointment it isn't easy to wrap my mind around the here and now in real-time, feel grateful.

Speaking of gratitude, I'll be having a couple months' rest from the chemo treatments.  Docs decided to give me a round of radiation directed at some cancer cells growing in my liver.  Daily treatments for a month. Quick and easy but it is a forty-five-minute drive to the clinic every day. Too much like having a job.  Doc suggests waiting a month or two after the end of radiation to get started on chemo again.  Give my body a rest.  

Finally had to ask for oxyCODONE.  Severe pain in the right hip, can't hardly hold my weight on that side it hurts so much.  One doc says it is cancer in the hip joint, another doc looked at the scans and said it must be arthritis, the cancer is in the hip bone three or four inches away and all I know is it hurts.  Went behind Emma's and my PC's back a little.  They are sending me to PT without mentioning changing pain meds - the cancer doc has talked with me about going onto opioids so I asked him for the drugs without mentioning it to the women - yet.  I'm hoping that the PT will help with the source of the pain so I'm not on the opioids any longer than necessary.

As always, send happy supportive thoughts your way. Hoping for the best with your health.  I started going downhill about my last birthday in December as well, but that just happened to be a turning point in my treatment with more side effects that have had me feeling crappy most of the time.  Grateful that MJ hasn't had me arrested, led off the place in chains.